A FOREVER KIND OF LOVE

till death us do part

By Christine Jayakaran

My grandparents had a marriage that lasted close to 60 years only to be separated by death. Their marriage weathered many storms. Storms like ill health and financial hardships, to name a few.

The only difference was that they never gave up.

Walking out was never an option. They clung to each other and most importantly to God. Their times of prayer were systematic, every afternoon, those were the alone times they had with their God. Then at night they would pray together along with any visitor who happened to be at their home. Their love wasn't overtly demonstrative but it was very evident.

Grandmom used to tell me that though she wasn't beautiful (in the traditional sense) she had decided early in her marriage that she would try and be the best wife she could with the inner beauty she knew she possessed. Granddad, when in good health, would do all the grocery shopping for their home even if it meant walking 3 times in the withering heat to the same store and back, thanks to grand mum's forgetfulness. He would do the dishes every night and would eat whatever grandmom cooked up without complaint even if it wasn't the most delicious thing in the world (That was probably because he couldn't make a cup of coffee by himself but still !!).

They were generous to a fault by giving of their resources to anyone who asked, never holding back.

As they aged, time and tide got the better of them. Granddad struggled with the debilitation caused by Parkinson's disease while grandmom was left to look after the man who always looked after her. I have watched her nurse him and clean him when she herself was ageing rapidly and growing increasingly weak. Although their children helped them, they trusted only each other. They relied on each other for everything, so when granddad died, grandmom looked like a piece of herself was missing. She was never the same again.

Having just watched the world celebrate 'Valentine's Day', I realise that the love being talked about has so many connotations. Greeting cards and couples on social media write about their forever valentine.

I wonder if they are really prepared to be a forever valentine. Life is not always rosy. It doesnt always give us what we want or what we deserve. Curve balls are aplenty.

The one thing that should be constant though is LOVE.

A wilful and fierce kind of love that will bring peace within a storm, smash down a towering giant of a crisis and will soothe a broken heart. Unconditional love is hard but so is unwavering love. My daily prayer in this season of my life has been to be consistent. Consistent with my husband, my children, my family and my friends. Which means that situations will not always be ideal. My family is not always going to make loving them easy. My children (Oh heaven knows !!) are not going to make it a piece of cake. My husband many times makes it downright difficult (LOL !!) But I will still work on being consistent.

Consistent in how I display my love to them. Consistent in the generosity of my words that I speak over them. Consistent in my forgiving. And consistent in my caring. If I accomplish nothing else in my lifetime but this, I believe it would impact my family forever.