I know I have been off the grid for a while but I have been just catching my breath (literally) with a bunch of stuff that's been happening. I travel tomorrow so I wanted to shoot this out before I left.
So my MRI scan was clean and I'm aneurysm free.. (Woohooo!! I know!Best news ever!) But, I have been learning to cope and wade through the muck that is the side effects of my blood thinners. One of the interesting side effects was a sudden onset of wheezing. The doctor called it allergic asthma and I was promptly promoted to using an inhaler and learning to pace myself when I got out of breath.
On the days when I was wheezing and didn't know it (before I was diagnosed) it was hilarious in so many ways because I couldn't say half of what I wanted to considering I was out of breath mid way. My husband found it especially funny since I'm a non stop talker, replier, loud thinker, question asker and what not! Although it really bugged me that I couldn't speak I began to choose what I needed to say and it had to be something that was important, sensible and essential. No frills. No added drama. No reading between lines. Nothing extra.
It was amazing. I realised how much conflict I avoided and how liberating it was to shut up. Liberating how? I was actually enjoying silence and the few sentences I spoke were more effective than the countless ones I would usually speak. While I no longer am wheezing, I'm back to my old style of banter but it's more measured I should say. I'm okay with not having my say, with not having to fill silences with words and with thinking a good deal before speaking.
If only this was all of humanity’s mantra in a time such as this where words are many and opinions are endless. Maybe we could think before we tweet, consider the repercussions for our hateful Facebook posts and maybe even delete that harsh Whatsapp reply before we send it out. Maybe our statuses could be less about our emotions and more about encouraging others. Maybe we could listen more, enjoy the silences and think before we roll our words out!