BEAUTY OR THE BEAST

By Christine Jayakaran

I was at a beauty parlour the other day and had the most disturbing experience yet. I had gone for a head massage since, well I wanted to be pampered a bit before my husband left on a long trip out of the country. The parlour girls try to talk me into a hair spa by saying that since I have such dry and frizzy hair that's what will work best. I'm used to ignoring insults about my curly hair since I barely have any time to really tame and beautify it. That's what parlour time is supposed to do for me hello! Me, the stubborn mule that I am, stuck to my guns about having just the oil massage done and nothing more. As payback, during the one hour that I was there, the parlour girl commented in our nation's native tongue about my hair loss, dry scalp , yada yada!! During my time at various parlours over the years I have heard lady customers being asked to try certain facials, scalp and hair treatments with thinly veiled insults as the marketing hook. Comments like 'It will make you fairer' or 'Your skin has so many marks nah' or 'Your hair fall seems so bad' or 'Your complexion will improve' or "For your face cut that hairstyle wont suit you" are not just hitting below the belt but are just a whole lot of false promises. They hit girls and women at the spot where it hurts most since these are already sore and tender topics for many of us. What also is appalling is the lack of sensitivity with which parlour personnel operate. What if the hair fall was the result of chemo, hormonal changes or just plain stress? What if the skin darkening was because of a medical treatment or harsh working conditions or a skin allergy? I mean doesn't anyone train these people on how to speak? Training them to cut hair or do cosmetic things is great but I think, to really make a difference for clients, staff need to be kind and courteous. I used to enjoy visits to the parlour as I got a chance to speak with the girls doing my hair or nails asking them about their families and their lives but off late I would much prefer if they were just quiet and did the work entrusted to them. Trust me the world is unkind enough as it is so we don't need the one hour we dedicate to self care to be hair raising and nail biting (puns intended)! To all of this I can only think of one solution- education! Owners of parlours and cosmetic stores, get your staff trained on how to speak to customers, on how to offer new packages without insulting them and without making off colour personal remarks. Also don't make promises you can't keep - the parlour I went to promised to style us like VIPs!! (Face palm) Come on guys, we don't want to be styled like a diva we just want to be treated with honour and dignity.

Girls out there - You are beautiful no matter what anyone at your salon says.

You are perfect as you are.

Celebrate your curls, your tan (or burn if you're a Chennaite). Ladies- love your frizzy or scanty hair and your wrinkles- they tell a story of where you've been and how you got to where you're at. Don't do facials because you want to get fairer or blemish free (again false promises) . Do it because it means you're taking time off for yourself and because you're special! Experiment with makeup, even the kind that the store makeup girls tell you won't suit your skin tone. Life is too short to let these people dictate what is in or out of fashion or to determine what does or doesn't suit you. And ladies if your beauty is commented on or assessed without your permission speak up! Don't stay quiet and tolerate it- unleash your inner beast in the best way possible. I'm not asking you to take out a machete and assault people. Talk to those in charge, write a complaint and make it clear that it's unacceptable for anyone to be treated like that!