CALMING THE STORM

Inside Me

By Christine Jayakaran

If I was to put into three words emotions that seem to have ruled my life thus far it would have to be Fight, Flight and Fright.

In any given situation one of these highly volatile private reactions seem to be my go-to responses. I’m usually so driven by my personal convictions or beliefs that I will fight any opposition down. Or I would run far and fast from people who tend to get abrasive or on my nerves

(I know.. it’s not cool to be like that! )

or I would cringe in fear from embracing new challenges or opportunities being anxious of the consequences (much of which is imagined and not real), backlash and opinions of others

(to name a few).

And then.. I stumbled onto these words

‘in quietness and confidence is your strength’

the other day during my ‘quiet’ time ironically.

Boy.. did it make me stop and think!

I realised that my inner person was never quiet. I was loud and I mean really LOUD. My inner voice has been often judgemental, opinionated, fear-fed and commitment phobic.

Reading these words made me take a second look at not my actions but my reactions.

Actions are most often sanctified but reactions can be plain unholy.

How I react when I get criticised, ignored, put in a box or talked down to (being a woman and all!) is what matters more I think because ultimately Character is who I am in private.