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By Christine Jayakaran

Who doesn't like control?

I mean seriously, having control is a great feeling. Right?

I for one enjoy it. I love being in control of my life. Becoming a wife and mom just made that circle of control a little wider. Okay, I'll admit, a lot wider. Here's the thing though, the more control we think we have, the lesser we are actually in control. Sound weird to you ? Let me put it this way. I'm finding that allowing control to go out the window brings about the most pleasant and unexpected surprises.

Trying to control my spouse or my children only serves to tighten this invisible noose around their neck and inevitably squeeze the daylights out of them (all in the name of love!!) I have had to face this reality over and over again - I can't control everything! I can control some things. Like my expressions, my thoughts or my reactions to situations. I find that even my schedule (being a rigorous scheduler) is best left open to a few unexpected additions and deletions for therein lies the element of fun and sometimes much needed rest even. I cannot control what people say about me, who loves me, who will let me down or what could happen the next minute. And I realise now, that it's okay! I refuse to allow my need for control to dictate my marriage, my parenting, my friendships, my work... heck my life!!! When I think of control I picture my dad trying to teach me to drive. He sat beside me while I began driving only to find him grasping for an invisible gearshift and stomping on invisible brakes the whole time! It was a nightmare for me since I could see the level of trust he had in me and it was not confidence boosting I tell you! I remember finally just slamming the brakes and asking him to please drive us home because he just wasn't helping me. (The end of this story is that my brother and mum got the brilliant and hair-raising opportunity of sitting beside me as I navigated the streets of lovely Chennai)

You see my point with control right? It doesn't make for a healthy life.

Do you have a struggle with control? Do you feel the need to always make sure your ducks are in a row? Do friends find you controlling? Why don't you take a moment to reevaluate and then ...