HUMAN DOING

By Christine Jayakaran

Sounds like some oriental delicacy huh? Well put away your take-out menu, it's not.

Someone once said it's no accident how we are called Human beings and not Human doings. That got to me because like every good Indian I have often allowed, what I do or what I have accomplished or what I am passionate about, define my identity.

When perhaps, who we are, is most important?

Case in point- My motherhood experience (so far). So after my boys successfully broke a lamp during an indoor football game this week, I had to re-lay a few ground rules for them after which my oldest says, very wistfully, how other kids get to do anything at their homes while he on the other hand.. well you get the idea!! Earlier that same day my daughter very kindly informed me that unlike me, her friends’ moms ALWAYS make sure their daughters’ pants ALWAYS sit on their hips and NEVER slip down! My honest reaction to her was “Whaaat ??Pull your pants up yourself woman!!” I might have also been a little mad at these “ALWAYS” moms who were making me look bad!

Anyway like any regular mom, I told my kids they are free to go and live with their friends and grow up like delinquents with no rules and pants that never come down!

Yes.. I know.. I sound childish.. but you had to be there to face the accusations and the dismay!! (And the rolling eyes!!)

But, no matter what they say or what they feel.. (thankfully) I will continue to be their mom because I Am! Why this over confidence you ask??

Well, I know when one of them has had a bad day just by the way they walk through our front door. I know if they are lying to me even if I'm not looking at them. I know if they have done something despicable just by glancing at their guilty little faces. I know when they need a hug, a kiss or just a squeeze of their shoulder. I know when they want to just be quiet and when they want to spill their guts. I wasn't born with these abilities. It just grew on me just by virtue of being their mom. Yes, I have to provide for them and care for them but by embracing my role as a mother I have learnt to nurture them in a truer and deeper way.

I didn't need to DO anything per se, I just had to BE there for them and the rest evolved.

What place are you currently at where you might just have to sit back and rethink the makings of your identity? Maybe you're striving so hard you have forgotten to stop and smell the roses. Have you forgotten who you are in your rush to accomplish more and perform better?