LESSONS FROM MOTHERHOOD

By Christine Jayakaran

I honestly am not a big fan of Mother's Day or Father's Day or the other greeting card related holidays. In my experience some of the best moms and dads have not had biological children of their own but have given their all to love and labour for children. I wanted to share a little today of lessons I have learned over 15 years of being a mum. Yes you heard me right. I'm married for 10 years but I've been a mum for way longer! ( Don't freak out dad and mom)

I don't speak today of the lessons learnt from being a natural mother to my three little ones. I talk of my lessons of being a spiritual mum to a few precious souls over the years. I have laughed with them, cried with them and for them, I have listened, I have given my two cents worth on things but mostly I have loved them. Each of them was special in their own way.

No two of them alike. Their struggles were different, their ideas were oh so different and best of all their strengths were so different.

I learnt how to be a real mom with these kids because every limit I had they stretched, every idea I had they made me rethink and every time I thought I couldn't love anymore they were right there waiting to be loved on.

NO FEAR

I stopped being afraid of getting my hands messy when I got involved in someone's problems or situations. They taught me that instead of fear they needed openness. The openness of someone who will not judge them but just be there.

2. FORGIVENESS ANYTIME ANYPLACE

They were always ready to forgive me when I had misunderstood them or had berated them for something they messed up on. Forgiveness was given readily and with so much joy. It was never given grudgingly or half heartedly.

3. HYPOCRISY BANNED

They could never stomach hypocrisy in those older to them or those leading them. It made me look at myself harder and keep a check on any hypocrisy that threatened to creep up on me.

4. HONESTY WORKS

I have learned through these precious ones that honest open communication always works. Speaking behind people's backs or making veiled comments don't make for good relationships. They could handle my honesty so I learned to handle theirs!

5.THE VALUE OF RELATIONSHIPS

I have been amazed at the level of commitment and love they have for their friends. They would drop everything and run for a friend in crisis. They didn't care if they had work or class, their friendships were worth everything. I have watched them and now i have re-prioritised so many of my relationships. I will never take another friend for granted.

These 'kids' know who they are and they know how loved they are. They have made my life so much richer and filled me with so much joy.

I just want to encourage you that if you have longed for a child but haven't had one yet, you don't have to fret. Look around you and open your heart to those 'children' around you who are longing for a parent. Maybe their parents are abroad or estranged and they are in your city studying or working. Give them meals, text them and see if they are okay, call them and just listen to how their day has been, love them with no judgement and be a giver of second chances. As someone once said, 'Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.'