NEW NORMALS

~ Sharon ~

By Christine Jayakaran

After any storm the terrain is completely altered and it feels like we are dealing with new issues, unforeseen after effects and so much more. Acceptance is probably the first stage of the healing process and I thought of no one better who could speak to this than my dear friend Sharon. She has been through some of the toughest seasons of the soul but has come forth stronger than ever before. Hear what she has to say on accepting your new normal.

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My grandfather-in-law (a term I have invented to describe my husband’s grandfather) is fondly referred to as Mummypa and he is what one can describe as a sweet little old man. With his puny frame, wrinkle-free skin, intact teeth (all 32) and his effervescent humour, he is definitely our most favourite. Once having been one of the most influential persons of his era, it is quite disheartening to see him strutting about relentlessly, still reveling in yester days, little realising that it is all but a hazy memory now.

It is devastating what the death of a loved one can do to a person. So much more if it’s the spouse. That is what brought frequent memory loss to mummypa and alcoholism to my dad.

Many a night and dawn passed by with my just sitting by the window and gazing up at the sky thinking of how ill-mannered my parents were to have just gone to be with Jesus without even a word of farewell. Breast cancer and Cardiac arrest they said, but I knew better. They were far stronger than this…just why? And how? And why again? All I needed was a normal life. Just one problem… I didn’t know what was normal anymore…I couldn’t (read didn’t want to) accept what had happened. It seemed unfair. The luxuries I had enjoyed daily became luxuries I could only glance at from a distance. People and their varied advices didn’t help much either. It just seemed brutal- the switch from stacks of Ferro Rochers in our fridge to saving up enough money to buy one large bar of Dairy milk so we all could share.

So how does one accept the New-normal?

Sounds fancy huh? NEW-NORMAL (def) – when the life you have lived since your birth is completely altered by an existential crisis such as a health condition, demise of a loved one, financial breakout, moving to a new place or Mr. Trump being President (pun intended).

Now many of you reading this might be wondering why I started off this article with an introduction to mummypa. Well, it’s because it is what he said, rather did, in recent times that struck me so hard, suddenly just sorted everything out.

Here is exactly what took place:

One evening my brother-in-law (let’s call him R) had gone to call on my mother-in-law (I address her as ‘Ma’) who resides with mummypa (who happens to be her father). It so happened that she was out and mummypa opened the door. Upon enquiring about ma’s whereabouts, mummypa had nonchalantly replied, “No dear..she is not here… it’s just me and Jesus..we’re home alone”. While it has been promptly added to the list of mummypa's 101’s and laughed of many times, it struck me really hard.

How confident and how assured one must be to quote so casually of Jesus’s presence in practical conversation! Oh how beautiful it is to be assured of God’s love and more importantly, of His presence with us at all times? How dreamy…yet how normal.

That’s when I finally realised: life is going to be erratic regardless. It is constantly evolving, sometimes for better, most times, for worse (sounds like a wedding vow huh?) so, as you read this, just know what is seemingly normal is just a mirage of interim bliss. It will soon be shattered and will be rebuilt, but only if you allow the Maker to. For this, you must be constantly assured and reassured that God loves you like no other and that you are never alone. Instead of fighting the new-normal, just embrace it with strength and soon enough, let’s join the psalmist in faith, “Yea though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I fear none ill for THOU ART WITH ME”

PS: the most beautiful thing about being assured of Jesus’ love is that you cannot but be overwhelmed. From someone who almost took her life due to loneliness, I can tell you now at any given day, that I am a much loved daughter and oh! What a blessing it is! This assurance surges forth so much positivity that things just fall in place one by one.