STAGED FRIGHT

By Christine Jayakaran

March 20^th, 2022

I was at a cafe recently and I watched as a girl sat at another table and proceeded, for the next five minutes, to take many many pictures of her table setting, menu card and then selfies with hair tossed on either side of her sweet face. It was amusing to say the least, as she even turned the Menu card upside down for some sort of artistic vibe (I'm guessing) and aligned all the other elements in an organised mess (if you know what I'm saying).

As I was watching her, I realised with a twinge of regret that I've done that so many times. For that one perfect picture- I've hidden that messy shelf by placing my husband strategically at that corner of the pic, or if I looked exceptionally oily and frizzy- out came a filter, or at a restaurant- the table would be cleared of anything that didn't fit in.

Boy, are we living in an embellished culture.

Real is overlooked while fake is overdone.

We put on facades and walk around all day. We take the term ‘putting our best foot forward a little too literally and make everything in our life look perfect when in reality, it's far from it'.

You know the truth ? Our kids hate it when we click their pics for the gram. They love being clicked, but for no other reason other than to see those photos from time to time on our phone albums or be reminded of it by Google photos once a year. They reminisce in detail of where each picture was taken, what we were doing and what they felt then. They don’t care if the setting was less than picture-perfect, the quality was blurry or our outfits were a mega fail!

That, for me, was an epiphany!

In staging our lives, we ignore the beauty of the imperfect.

In setting everything perfectly, we lose the power that's exhibited through the cracks of our lives.

In only showcasing the put-together bits, we diminish the connection that incompleteness brings.

It's a scary thought to think of the world our children are entering - one which is driven by trends and false online pretences. Will they realise just how priceless it is, to be themselves? Will they accept their lives with all it's imperfections and not shrink away from embracing it? Will they look at others' touched up photos and wish that was them? I truly hope not!

As for me - My heart now gravitates towards capturing those raw moments of sweetness that occur through each day. I don't show it to anyone - I just sit back and savour them. If you come home we probably won't take a great picture with you but we will treasure you and love you something deep. You will be remembered and cherished a whole lot even if you didn't get a Kodak moment in with us.