The blessing of Obscurity

By Christine Jayakaran

Ever felt invisible? Have you walked into a place and been completely unrecognised? Do you suddenly feel like you lost your purpose because you no longer have a platform?

Been there, done that!

When we as a family relocated to the United States for a year while my husband studied at bible college I remember the feeling of being completely invisible. No one knew us. No one knew of our abilities or our gifts. No one knew our story. We only had a blank canvas. For that one year that canvas just felt like it was being drawn on, one shaky scrawl at a time. I remember walking into our beautiful church in Texas (the only Indian family- so we sorta stood out) and people smiling, admiring our kids and saying the usual ‘Hi how y’all doing’ but that was it. While my husband and son were at school me and my daughter got a whole lot of quality time at home. We missed our family and friends terribly but most of all we missed serving at church. Fast forward to our next year abroad (in Australia) at another bible college , this season was another one of getting lost in crowds, being one among the many expats in Australia and lots of alone time for introspection.

It may sound to you like we were globe trotting or country hopping but honestly, it felt nothing like that. We were being refined in the crucible of anonymity. We didn't have any platform on which to serve God or people. Our talents were kept under wraps.

The things we learned during this season though, were of the highest importance I now know.

We realised that serving our children and stewarding our marriage was our highest calling and we did not need a platform for that.

God didn't want us to keep doing things for him- he wanted us to know Him. Period. While my husband had a lot of studying to do in college, God educated me in the classroom of my everyday life. His word came alive to me everyday as I did my quiet time.

I realised that I wasn't invisible to God. He could see (I mean really see) my family and that he loved us so deeply.

We learned how to depend on only God. I learned how to pray. None of those whiny, long winded big vocabulary kind of prayers but the simple, conversational, word of God wielding prayers!

Most importantly our world view changed. Our neighbours were from South Korea, Germany, Israel, Nigeria and Egypt (to name a few). We didn't just have meals that were insane (have you tasted homemade bread made by Germans!! Hallelujah!) but the conversations were life changing. Not only did our circle of friends grow but we changed in the process. Our eyes were opened to what God was doing all over the globe not just in our little bubble. We said goodbye to dear American friends of ours leave everything and move to Peru with their 5 children to be missionaries. We watched young Indian classmates step into huge callings as youth pastors and worship leaders. We opned our home to people of various ethnicities and learned that we were more similar than we were different.

We broke out of the ‘needing to be known’ and entered the glorious season of ‘blissfully unknown’.

Today my husband and I are completely secure in who we are called to be because we weathered the dry season of obscurity and emerged stronger and surer in our relationship with Jesus. We might still be in that season on so many levels but we know that the sturdy oak tree happened because of a seed that was buried for a long time in dirt, dust and darkness.

Nothing is wasted. Not even your season of quietness, separation or forced rest. Something is brewing deep within and if you would just wait for it... it will be legendary !!