THE GREATEST SIN

By Christine Jayakaran

Bet you're curious about what I'm gonna say next huh?

So I'm a parent of three kiddos. I love each of them so much it hurts sometimes. My love for them is unique to each of them and if I have to quantify it, I can boldly say , it's equal.

I do not play favourites.

Like any normal parent the above statement gets put to the test quite a bit and my confidence takes a beating now and then when one of our older two kids give us (unasked for) feedback. Recently my oldest tells me that I 'always' take my daughter's side during sibling battles . My daughter insisted soon after that I spend more time with my oldest than with her. My youngest is yet to voice his concerns and dissatisfaction but I'm sure he'll have a mouthful to say when the time comes!

I don't know if you've watched the Drama series 'This is Us' (if you haven't, stop reading this and watch that! ) If you have, you will see repeatedly the damage caused by parental favouritism rearing it's head in the lives and attitudes of adult siblings.

The Bible too shows us very real and troubling cases of partiality shown in families to one child over others and doesn't gloss over the horrible repercussions that it causes.

Funnily enough, favouritism doesn't help the favoured child in any way. If anything it brings more heat and complication to that child's life.

As a mum, I pray everyday for the wisdom to be for each child what they need. The way I parent my oldest doesn't work for my other two. The way I relate to my daughter (God help me!!) doesn't work with my boys! The way I coddle my youngest is boring for my oldest to say the least. So favouritism could become a reality for me, if I decide to get lazy and sleep on the job. Or If I decide that one or two of my three littles are just too hard to manage and are beyond redemption.

Why I call it SIN is because favouritism causes

Shame, Insecurity and Negativity in children.

The overlooked child has a hard time looking at themselves with a balanced, healthy and positive perspective.

How I personally have been practising impartial parenting is looking to constantly find GOLD in each of my children even when they are acting out and being very difficult.

If you were a victim of favouritism I urge you to break the cycle with your children.

If you are still caught in the throes of favouritism I want to remind you that you are favoured, valued and loved for who you are by an impartial and consistent GOD!