UP IN FLAMES

By Christine Jayakaran

I love relationships.

I love my friends & I love being a friend.

It wasn’t always that way I’m afraid. In the past I took friendships for granted and have allowed certain relationships to fray and ultimately disintegrate thanks to my apathy and lackadaisical ways.

My regrets in this aspect though have made me more conscious today of the great value of relationships and how they enrich, encourage and sharpen me. I sat down today and just put down a few lessons I have learnt from the relationships I have had over the past twenty odd years and this is what I came up with. I hope it helps and encourages you.

Do not fight for those who can fight for themselves. Instead fight for the voiceless, the poor, the destitute and those who are unable to fight for themselves.I have found that I have picked the wrong battles very often and ended up getting kicked in the shins repeatedly (lol!!)

And most importantly when in doubt , Shut Up!

Yep.. you heard me right! Even a fool is considered wise when he is silent (quoting the Bible here..) and that is quickly becoming a mantra I live by! I don’t need to voice my opinion on every thing I hear.

Confront with Truth AND Love. Confrontation without truth and only love is fake while confrontation with only the truth and no love is accusatory and harsh. I wish I knew this before but now that I do I take my time before I confront someone and really examine my method and motives.

Do not burn bridges without just cause Bridges are a great opportunity to work, love and grow together. Burning a perfectly good bridge can permanently hinder the growth and maturing of relationships. That being said if a relationship is completely unhealthy and destructive burn that bridge ASAP!!

Have the end in mind. Ultimately the objective and goal is to continue in love no matter what the outcome is. The outcome is usually CHANGE. Be prepared to see people change. No one stays the same. The pace of the change happening is different but it happens. In the mean time irrespective of them changing or not, you realise that you change in the process. Most often for the better!