WHERE HAVE ALL THE LOYAL GONE?

Long Time No See

By Christine Jayakaran

I have a friend now, of seventeen years, who rightly qualifies as a best friend. More than the years we know each other the quality that has exemplified our relationship has been loyalty. I'm sure as you read this you have a picture of someone in your life too that has occupied this very same space. When I say loyalty, I mean no one can speak to one of us about the other in a derogatory way and get off scot free. Neither can anyone attempt to turn us against each other. She will have my back and me hers, it's just the way it is. This is not to say that we have never had disagreements or differences of opinion. We have fought, cried and gone right back to that zone of iron clad loyalty.

It's sad and painful though that all around us loyalty seems like something sucked into a black hole, forever gone. It's a man eat man world where it's literally every man for himself. I know that loyalty is a hard earned badge but why is it so hard for us to be loyal? It's probably because of the harsh reality of disloyalty that lingers all around us. How do you stay loyal when your spouse abandons you and the marriage? How do you stay loyal when a family crisis reveals huge cracks in relationships that looked perfectly fine from the outside? How do you stay loyal when your boss discriminates against you and doesn't want to see you succeed? How do you stay loyal when those you looked up to let you down? How do you stay loyal when your children grow into adults that you don't recognise anymore? How do you stay loyal when your parents have dealt treacherously with you?

I really don't have answers to any of the above but this I know, that loyalty begets loyalty.

It's a trait that needs to be mirrored and should be reciprocal. I mean think about it. How do we stay loyal to someone who is utterly disloyal. It's like throwing pearls before pigs (to quote the Bible). Here comes the tricky part though. I am not advocating being disloyal to the disloyal, that would make us no different than them. All I'm saying we need to move away from the disloyal and start investing whole heartedly in others who enter our lives.

One of our pastors in Australia used to teach us this concept 'Lean into those who lean into you'. Which means honour those who are loyal to you and reciprocate that loyalty by investing in them and staying in their corner. As much as we need to be loyal we also need to move on in the face of disloyalty because let's face it, it's a toxic trait. Don't dwell on the disloyalty shown you for too long as it causes bitterness. Instead, focus your attention on being loyal and appreciating the loyal- they are a rare breed.